The Christmas Tree and the Bike

Christmas is once again approaching, and for us in the Netherlands, this means one thing:

How am I going to get that Christmas tree home?

There are plenty of lovely Christmas trees that are being sold this time of year.  In the market, in the grocery stores.  In stalls set up on the streets, fresh from local gardeners.  Some are in pots, others are freshly cut.  There are trees made of various forms of shruberry, pruned to cone shapes.  Some are even herbs, such as rosemary, with lights and ornaments hung from their delicate leaves, that can be recycled into food later.

Transporting these varieties home is always an adventure.  I, and many others who live here, don't just have a pick up truck to throw the tree in the back of.  Like everything else we do here, there is one two options for transportation - by bike, or by foot.

My first stop was to a local garden center.  They had lovely trees, all 5-6 feet high or larger.  The Dutch sellsman tried to convince me to buy one.  "I would love one," I said, "but I came here by bike and don't have a car."

"Not a problem," he said, and he began to explain to me how to balance the top of the tree over the handlebars while carrying the base of the tree one handed as I biked home.

I don't know about him - but I'm certainly not that coordinated.

Then there are the potted variety.  Last year, I bought a small potted tree (about 2 feet tall).  It survived until about April, when it decided to spontaneously die and loose all of its needles.  I decided then it was time for it to go in the trash, but there is something particular about the trash bins here.  There aren't communal dumpsters, rather, there are giant underground trash bins which you must access with a pass-card.  At the end of the year, how much your pass-card was used will determine how much you pay for trash that year.  The pass-card opens a small area which is big enough for one normal-ish trash bag.   

It's not big enough for a two foot dead Christmas tree, with pot, it turns out.

I don't have a saw so I couldn't cut the tree apart, so I decided to just shove the entire tree into this small opening.  A half hour later, I finally managed to get the tree into the container, while the container itself had thousands of dried up pine needles, a few dozen small branches, and some of my blood scattered around it.

Not a good idea.

So perhaps a better solution was to get a plant that I would know would survive longer than a couple of months, and wouldn't look weird in my apartment year-round.   One of those shaped ornamental shruberies seemed like a good idea.  I found a very nice one, and decided to just walk it home.  But then I picked it up, and realized that there was no way I could walk home (about a 30 minute walk) holding this massive pot with a tiny little shrubbery coming off the top.

I also played with the idea of getting a cut tree and somehow bungee-cording it to my bike.  The success of this method depended on a critical balance of coordination and skill, something I was sure I didn't have either of.

So finally, I came up with a solution.  I could make my own tree!  I bought several packs of tree-like garland.   These are much easier to carry than a whole tree!

Even still, the garland was quite large, and bungeeing it to my bike caused it to hang off considerably in both directions.  But I made it home without leaving a trail of garland behind me.

Garland - hanging on with bungee-cords, a bike lock, and sheer will!

Turning it into a tree was then quite a project, but an hour later, an old shoebox filled with a can of paint and old appliance manuals (for balance) came together with a mop handle and, of course, the garland itself, to make a lovely tree!

Merry Christmas, y'all!