Dutch food: The Ugly (and the Weird)

And then there is the stuff that's just plain weird.

Including Dutch sandwiches.

It doesn't sound weird on the outset, but it is common to see a plate of sandwiches at any (and every) Dutch function. These are not your typical American sandwiches, piled high with meat, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, bacon, olives, peppers, mayonnaise and mustard....  There is something very specific about these sandwiches.  They can have one slice of meat, or one slice of cheese.  Never both.  Sometimes you can get a sandwich with both meat and cheese, but it is carefully made so that the meat does not overlap any of the cheese.  I often wondered what would happen if a slice of meat and a slice of cheese did touch on a sandwich.  Would it signal the end of the world?  When I made a comment about this, a Dutch friend said to me, "Meat and cheese on a sandwich?  What do you want, anarchy? What would come next, people dancing naked in the streets?"

Equally strange is that it is very typical to serve cartons of milk along with these sandwiches, even at professional conferences and meetings.  Do you know how weird it is to see a businessman in a suit eating a cheese sandwich and drinking milk from a carton?

But if milk is too tame, there's also karnemelk - or buttermilk.  This is also drank straight from the carton.  Yummy.  *Cough cough*

Then there are bitterballen.

Bitterballen with spicy mustard.  So. Freaking. Good.

What are bitterballen, you ask?  No one really knows.  All we know is that it is some sort of creamed meat, coated in breadcrumbs, fried, and served with beer. The general consensus is that bitterballen are made of either horse or muskrat.  That being said, bitterballen are freaking delicious.

Pancakes are also popular, or pannenkoken.  But how about having two slices of bacon cooked into your pancake?  I love bacon just as much as the next person, but I for one think this is going too far.

Then there's the Dutch sushi.  Pickled herring.  It looks delightfully raw.  The typical method to eat this delicacy is to coat the fish in some raw onions, pick the fish up by the tail, and then gulp it down in one fell swoop.  You can buy these on the street corners - I have yet to work up the courage to try one.

Dutch food: The Bad

But of course, our tour of Dutch cuisine does not end there.  When I was preparing to move to the Netherlands, one of my friends who is Spanish (a culture that cares about food) who used to live in the Netherlands warned me: the Dutch do not eat for enjoyment.  They eat so they don't pass out.

After coming from France, where eating was an essential part of life and enjoyment, this is a shock for me.  Solely eating so you don't die?  Where's the fun in that?

Because of this, the Dutch have invented some interesting foodstuffs that lack on flavor, or have bizarre flavor, but keep you alive.  Maybe.

During a conference, they had some nice looking pastry things.  I decided to try one. Imagine my surprise when I found that inside it was filled with pasta and tomato sauce.

Then there is the Christmas "favorite" oliebollen - donut-like balls of dough soaked in oil, so much so that they are actually dripping in it.  Sometimes they are filled with creme or a fruit like concoction, but over-eating them (as in, more than one) can cause serious illness.

Friends Nico and Shasta taste oliebollen

Then there is the Dutch version of vending machine - a wall of doors that open to provide hot dishes such as sandwiches, hamburgers, croquettes (breaded tubes filled with some sort of meat).  I have been warned that the only appropriate time to eat from one of these vending machines is at 4 am when nothing else is open and alcohol has impaired your judgement to a level where you don't know any better.

Late-night Dutch dining

Then there are dropjes - dark black licorice candies... with one important difference - they are salty.  I remember the first time I tried one - a Dutch friend handed me the candy, smiling deviously as she said "try it", and then laughed manically as I spit it out.

Dutch Food: The Good

Food is probably one of the most interesting parts of experiencing a new culture. It is something that you deal with every day, and each culture has their own unique spin on this facet of everyday life.  Of course, living in a new country brings lots of opportunities to also form (rather strong) opinions on the food.

Living in the Netherlands has had its ups when it comes to food.  A lot of these involve dairy products.  The yogurt, for instance.  Oh, the yogurt.  I will be forever ruined when I eat yogurt anywhere else for the rest of my life.  The yogurt here is like cream - thick, indulgent, amazing.  And the cheese.  The Dutch sure know how to make a good cheese.  They are different from French cheeses  - they are typically harder and eaten by the slice.  Sometimes they are filled with yummy things like mustard or walnuts. 

Stamppot

The Dutch also love their hearty meals.  Stamppot is one of these meals and has become a regular addition to our kitchen.  It's cooked in one pot - to save on dishes - just boil some cubed potatoes, then add a vegetable (such as kale, carrots, or cauliflower) and put a smoked sausage on top.  When the potatoes and veggies are done - take out the sausage, mash the veggies and the potatoes together - and then serve with the sausage to make a good one pot dish.

Then there is my favorite Dutch food - mustard soup.  Mustard soup?  How can you make a meal out of a condiment, you ask.  Well, let me tell you - it works, and it is delicious.  Here's the recipe - the best type of mustard for this is the Groninger mustard, but I realize that may not be available everywhere, so get a good large grain mustard.  

Groninger Mosterdsoep (Groningen Mustard Soup)

Ingredients:

Mustard soup - good with some hearty bread!

-       1 cup of lardons (cubed thick bacon)
-       a shallot or a small onion, diced
-       2 tbsp butter
-       2-3 teaspoons grainy Groninger mustard (or another grainy mustard)
-       ½ cup flour
-       1 liter chicken stock
-       ½ cup sour cream

1.  Fry the bacon until it's crisp.  Remove from heat.
2.  Sauté the onion and the butter until the onion is translucent.
3.  Add the mustard.
4.  Add the flour and mix for about 30 seconds.  No longer!  If you do it longer, you run the risk of the smoke detector going off, which has happened to me before.
5.  Pour in the stock and whisk until smooth.  Simmer for about 10 minutes.
6.  Add the bacon once more, and then add the sour cream.  Stir until smooth and heat through.

Spring Flower Market

As a reward for making it through the dark, dreary, depressing days of winter, spring in the Netherlands is really wonderful.   Because of the moist (that's one thing to call it) climate, the Netherlands is a great place to grow things - especially flowers.  On Good Friday each year, the entire town is converted into a flower market. 

Taking over the road...

The streets are overtaken by huge displays of amazing beautiful flowers.

Every year, thousands of Germans cross the border to buy flowers cheaply.  So many Germans come that some of the signs are even in German.

Of course, you can get the flower of the season: the tulip...

... and you can also get all sorts of diverse weird plants.

A point if you can name it!

Even wasabi!

I even took part in a fast paced flower auction... they would gather together a group of plants and sell them for ten euro to the first person who raised their hands.  I got two neat orchids!

Locallized Weirdness

America is different that Europe.  I recently read an article about things that are weird in the US that American may not realize are weird.  Some of these I thought were weird when I lived there, but now that I am living in Europe, yes, I have noticed almost all of these.  Particularly # 4, 10, and 18...

The Passion

I spent Holy Thursday in a very unique way.  In a country where prostitution and some drug use is legal, and religion is rarely discussed, I came together with 20,000 Dutch people, some who crossed the entire country, to celebrate the Passion.

It seems odd that the largest event I've been to so far in this country is centered around religion.  Odd, but also awesome.

Every year on Holy Thursday, the Passion is reenacted in a city somewhere in the Netherlands.  This year, it took place in Groningen.  Major Dutch actors and singers come together to put on a concert/musical, where Jesus' passion is retold in a modern light.

 

Along the main shopping road, stores are given crosses to work into their storefront displays.

On seeing this, I was a bit skeptical of the whole evening.  It seems a bit too flashy, too commercial.

Yes, the concert too was flashy.  But this, I think, is not necessarily a bad thing.  There is something very special to celebrate something so spiritual in a group so large in a very public place, with amazing light displays and moving music (even if it all is in Dutch).

But the night did not start out so hopeful.  Rain, of course, was present, and I couldn't see much over the sea of umbrellas.  Luckily, when the concert began, people put their umbrellas away, and only the choir was able to remain dry.

On the big screen, we are introduced to Jesus (left) and his friend Peter (right).  Jesus and his friends hang out in places around Groningen, from the bowling alley, to celebrating the last supper in the park behind the Martini Tower.

One fateful night, Jesus was praying with his friends in the parking garage, when the police come to arrest him.

Jesus, in an orange prisoner's outfit, awaits to hear his fate.

In a particularly moving portion of the concert, the crowd cheers for the release of Barabbas over Jesus.

As a culmination of the evening, the actual Crucifixion is represented by hundreds of people carrying a giant illuminated cross.  These people began their procession from across town, and slowly walked towards the main square as the evening progressed.  Some of these people had very sad stories - for example, one man had lost his son that year, but they all explained that God had somehow been there for them throughout that year.

The narrator describes the final hours of Jesus' life.

Of course, we know, this is not the end of the story.  The last song was filled with hope and joy.  Four giant strobe lights pierce the rain and project a cross on the low hanging clouds.   I look around the crowd, soaked through from the rain, and see them smiling, realizing the power of what we have all just witnessed.

That's right - he's back - showing that nothing can conquer love - not even death.  

So yes, even though it was flashy, it was a very special night.  In a world that is far too afraid of religion, we came together to celebrate something that is truly meaningful and remember that we too are loved beyond our wildest dreams.

If you are curious - you can watch the entire movie of the passion here (although it is all in Dutch).  But not to worry - apparently the Passion is coming to New York City next year!  

Stanley Stuck on a Train

Next, Stanley went with some of my friends on a trip down south, to France.  Stanley sits patiently on the Dutch train, on his way to Amsterdam.

Finally, after a long time, Stanley arrives in Lille, France! 

Walking to the exit of the train station...

He visited the main square of Lille.  In this square is the tower, which is the Chamber of Commerce.  The tower is pretty tall!  A point if you can guess how tall it is (+/- 5 meters).

Unfortunately, Stanley spent most of his weekend on the train, since train journeys can sometimes be harrowing adventures fraught with delays.  The verdict: he prefers travel via envelope much better.  At least it's dark, quiet, and he can catch up on some sleep.